Perth man caught with 20kg of pure WA eggs strapped to body trying to enter Victoria 

A Perth man has been taken into custody this morning after security was tipped off that he was trying to smuggle some pure, untainted WA eggs into Victoria. 

The dramatic scene unfolded on the flight as the man was confronted by Victorian police. A witness at the scene told The Times,

“I was a little suss on him. He was wearing very baggy clothing and just wasn’t moving naturally. I didn’t have much to do with him except when he asked me if I’d like to come into the toilet for a taste”

Victorian Police say the 20kg of untainted WA eggs had a street value of about $1.5M in Melbourne.

The lawyer of the man taken into custody told The Times that his client was innocent and that the man was planning to use all 20kg – about 24 cartons for personal use. Adding,

“Is it a crime to want a disease free WA egg with your morning coffee? Do we, as a society, expect this proud Westralian man to suffer because Victoria couldn’t keep its shit together? No”

While the accused is maintaining his innocence, a number of text messages have come to light that suggest he’s not so innocent. 

In an exclusive leak to The Times, we can reveal the following messages sent from the accused’s phone:

“Yeah I’ve got the pure shit. Meet me at Southern Cross with unmarked notes, I’ll bring the goods”

“Yo dawg, I gots what you need to get totally quiche. Cage-free, BF free, hit me up”

“Hey babe, can you pick up 20 cartons of eggs before I head to the airport?”

Interesting indeed.