Western Australia has a stern message for its biggest trade partner – “our eyes are up here”.
The message comes after WA caught the economic powerhouse leering lustfully at our big, voluptuous natural assets. A spokesperson for Westralia told The Times,
“We are more than just a very nice set of mineral resources. Sometimes Westralia gets the feeling that China is only buddying up to us to cop a feel of our generous goods”
Naturally, China has denied allegations that it was looking at WA’s unmissable bonanzas and went as far as to gaslight the mining state. A spokesperson for China told The Times,
“Clearly, Westralia is just insecure and is accusing us of ungentlemanly behaviour. We categorically regret this and would say that perhaps they only have eyes for our massive, girthy buying power”
The verbal barbs were exchanged after Premier Li Quang’s visit to Perth. Although not everyone was annoyed by the sentiments conveyed
We spoke to a mining magnate who wanted to go by the name “Ziggy”. He told The Times,
“Let them ogle all they want. I’m stacked and when my assets look this good I’m not going to deny my favourite trade partner a little squiz at the goods. Come hither. Ravage what I got”
Likewise, a Chinese businessman who didn’t want to be named said he was perfectly happy for Westralia to salivate over his thick line of credit. Even inviting them to come suckle on their vast transportation network.
It’s all getting a little steamy at the negotiation table.
No doubt everyone just needs to sit down. Keep their eyes to themselves and engage in respectful dialogue.
