In a touching act of self-interest and solidarity the nation’s boomers have joined the Woolworths’ warehouse worker’s industrial dispute over east.
A spokesperson for the Boomers Against Self Checkout Association (BASCA) told The Times,
“Every day a luddite buying excessive amounts of groceries with their negatively geared riches loses the plot at a local Woolworths over there being an insufficient number of humans at checkouts and leading them to have to navigate the complexities of the self service checking. This makes them employees, if you’ve ever seen the memes they post”
Thousands of boomers can now be found on the picket line blocking the distribution centres and abusing scabs.
We spoke to Barry & Beryl who claim to have kept a meticulous tally of every minute spent in the self checkout section and are calling to be compensated. Barry told The Times,
“It once took me an hour to scan my bloody groceries because the machine kept beeping at me! That’s $34 right there. Between us we are owed somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000 each and that’s only the half of it. I also want compensation for the way a worker looked at Beryl when she tried to scan grapes through as onions!”
We understand the boomer support should get the Woolworths’ workers’ pay dispute resolved. As anyone who has dealt with a boomer who feels they are unfairly charged can attest to.
Good luck and enjoy everything coming your way Woolworths.
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