“It’s time the boy heard the truth”, Dave exclaimed to his wife as he refused to continue reading whatever irrelevant literature the boy was being spoon-fed before sleepy time previously. “It’s time he heard about the greatest year in the greatest era of football of all time”.
After getting a somewhat anxious nod from Sara, Dave painstakingly divided the story up into a two-week Eagles golden era extravaganza for the pleasure of the boy’s ears. With two provisos of course. Sara told The Times,
“I told Dave that he can do this if he agrees to stop talking about the 2006 AFL premiership season to me. It’s not healthy. Also, he can’t tell Sammy *everything*, you know what I mean”
Dave agreed in principle but had absolutely no intention of leaving out all the highs & lows of a somewhat turbulent playing group. He told The Times,
“The boy needs to know. Tonight we start back in 2004 when those dirty Swans cockblocked us in the qualifying finals. Then we move on to how daddy didn’t handle 2005 very well because of those filthy fkn Swan dogs”
Not only was young Sammy treated to a history of the rivalry between the Eagles & Swans but he was treated to a theatrical performance. With Dave reenacting all the key moments in the season with a heavy focus on the Grand Final.
The dominant first half, Chick/Hunter smother-goal combo, Armstrong’s snag, his thoughts on Embers getting the Norm, a very animated Cuzzy arm windmill, and his thoughts on how the party went after. Sara told The Times,
“He actually got Sammy out of bed and asked him to kick this little toy to reenact the smother. He went down like a sack of shit. He also nearly broke his hand doing that stupid windmill he always goes on about”
After a few weeks, Sara was beginning to think the process as therapeutic for her husband and the boy was more engaged with footy than ever. It seemed to be a win/win for the family. That’s until young Sammy asked mummy a question on the way to the shops.
“Mummy have you ever run from a booze bus?” Oh, Dave.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?