A proud 48 month old human has instructed his mother to inform all guests to his “48-month celebration” that any mention of “years” will result in immediate eviction from the event.
Not only was the request noted at the bottom of the invite but the toddler also requested mother ring each guest and verbally warn them of his strict condition.
Naturally, the 48 month old was too busy for an interview. After all, he had to prepare for a big day of being wheeled around in a Wanderer Wagon rather than use his legs. So his mother told The Times,
“We, as a family unit, just feel that year as a measurement isn’t compatible with our little bundle of joys life philosophy. He originally sought to be kept on the week system but daddy said he’d leave his widdle family if we did that he he”
Indeed, the 208 week old has always felt above the other children. He acknowledges that a 4th birthday celebration is completely appropriate for other children – but he’s special.
To ensure full compliance with the request, all cards & gifts will be vetted at the door before they have a chance to enter and “pollute” his special day. His mother continued,
“I banned my sister from coming because she said it was over the top. I don’t understand why she’d say that? We have allocated a spare room for rewrapping and a paper shredder for any card that wishes him a 4th birthday of anything abominable like that”
The mother is currently in the proccess of baking a cake big enough for 48 candles. As per Mr 48’s wishes.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?