With wait times and costs for new Toyotas blowing out by the day, Darren & Jess have signed their newborn boy up to the Toyota 70 waiting list in the hope he’ll receive the car by his 30th birthday.
From the moment they laid eyes on their beautiful baby boy they knew he was going to be the finest tradie WA had ever seen. So they couldn’t risk the boy fangin’ around in an inferior work vehicle when he comes of age. Darren told The Times,
“You could tell by the way he looked at the doctor who just snipped his cord – he was saying, are your eyes painted on ya muppet. Already judging another man’s craftsmanship. It was beautiful”
Of course, with no finances of his own, Darren had to lend his baby the money in a loan he describes as “highly competitive”. Adding,
“If he’s anything like his old man he’s going to get buried in debt one day. So I’m just giving him a headstart in life ay. How else is he going to get a new Toyota before he’s 50?”
We asked whether the boy might consider a second hand model or just a Triton. Darren got noticeably upset,
“Blowing your hard-earned on an overpriced new Toyota is in our WA DNA. A Triton? Why doesn’t he just become an Irish plumber rather than an Aussie sparky? Ridiculous suggestion”
Similarly, Darren & Jess have already mapped out their youngest daughter’s career path and signed her up for a Rav 4. Jess told The Times,
“She’s going to run a nail & lashes empire so she’s going to need a new Rav4 with a number plate along the lines of boss lady. We think that’s the right tool she needs to succeed”
Toyota has applauded the move saying they’d be stoked if everyone forced their branding down their newborn’s throats at an early age. However couldn’t guarantee the timeline,
“Look, just pay your money and in a few years, you might get what you paid for. You might not too. You might get a facelifted model or perhaps shit on toast. We really don’t know at this stage. What we do know is we’ll probably need more money from ya though”
At this stage, Darren & Jess still hope the boy will get his hands on the keys by his 30th birthday but wouldn’t be surprised if he’s just bought himself a nice little retirement present.
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