Earlier this week it was revealed that Perth Airport long term parking was the most expensive in the country. According to the ACCC Awards, Perth came in at $78.70 for 2-3 days beating Shitney at $63.17 and Brisvegas at $60.60. Smellburn came in at $37.19 as the cheapest.
Perth Airport has enjoyed all the feedback has vowed to find new and exciting ways to milk every dollar out of the consumer. New initiatives include:
1. Pioneering the first “convenience fee” for the no-fee 10 minute drop off. A very reasonable $5 for not having to bother with the ticket machine.
2. Struck a deal with Qantas to allow business wear back into their lounges. Splitting the profits.
3. Starting up a Depop & Facebook Marketplace for all your clothes contained within the bags that Qantas & Jetstar manage to make disappear. The stores will be run by a local eshay who will most likely not unite you with your new purchase. Thus making the Airport even more sweet cash.
4. Introducing a $50 fee if you want a terminal where the baggage carousel hasn’t cacked its dacks first thing in the morning or last thing at night.
5. Introducing their own rideshare service to charge people an arm & leg after having their ride accepted and cancelled by 50 Uber drivers.
6. Setting up a GoFundMe urging the public to dig deep to get their balance sheet looking greener.
7. Running a little action on which Jetstar passenger will be denied entry to a flight or removed for a flight. You can also bet on which airline will cancel their flight at the last minute.
8. Breathing tax that will be payable upon stepping foot inside the premises.
RELATED: Bear Grylls forced to drink his own urine after getting lost trying to escape Perth Airport
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?