Balcatta is an unmissable spot for thrill seekers, Italian enthusiasts and tradies alike.
1. Channel your inner sesh rat at Rickman Delaney Reserve
What a wonderful suburban amenity. Top notch basketball courts, soccer facilities, some weird metallic runes and of course the Balcatta Pinnacles found in a hill in the middle. Perfect location to meet a snake or find a great bong spot.
Explore the bush on the hill and take home you own discarded billie bottle and perhaps run into Perf’s Banksy creepiest work to date – taking looking like a painter’s overalls to new levels.
2. Admire the architecture from the old world
Balcatta is absolutely brimming with terracotta lions, grand columns and excessively paved front yards. It’s without questions the spiritual home or anyone who knows their way around an excessively large plastic bag of lemons being handed your way (You a good boy, you take). Soak it all up and one day hope you’ll also be living la dolce vita.
3. Water some concrete
When in Rome is a particular saying when it comes to Balcatta so you’d be crazy to leave before enjoying the rush or the Balcatta broom – concrete must be watered twice to grow and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Especially those idiots from the Council (local government is the natural enemy of the Italian gent).
4. Stick it to the banks & bury some cash
Sticking with the Italia theme you can’t leave Balcatta until you’ve stuffed a plastic bag full of fresh pineapples & watermelons under a lemon tree. Banks can’t be trusted just ask Frank. You mere adopted Cash is King, he was born into it, moulded by it
5. Forklift yourself up to blue collar heights
Balcatta has a residential area and also an industrial section. It’s here where the contenders and pretenders to the forklift throne battle for the respect that comes with not arsing up a pallet in 5 whole days (or hours). Heavy are the soldiers that wear the fluoro bib.
6. Live your best tradie life
You know a suburb with a shop called Premix King and two sports bars is welcoming to the tradie lifestyle. In fact, in certain areas the suburb is 99% HiVis and work branded dual cabs. A perfect place to network over going troppo at the TAB screen.
7. Find love in the containers for change drive-through queue
They say the magic really happens when two thrifty souls unite. Just think of all the savings, the bargains, the aphrodisiac effect of seeing a pack of chicken thighs reduced to $4. Lord have mercy. You’ll find your soulmate in the queue, it can get a bit long and even cause traffic issues.
8. Make your parents actually proud of your BMXing
If your BMX life consists of doing laps around your suburb looking for unlocked cars or trying to win the affections of the local teens at Bunbury skate parks when you’re well into your late 20s then you can probably do better. Balcatta is the home of Perth’s respectable BMX community with a world class track. So go on, make your parents not regret buying you that bike 15 years ago.
9. Offer something to the bin chicken army at the recycling centre
It’s best you pay your respects. Just saying. The Australian white Ibis may be docile now but they amass in great numbers. Including a stronghold in Balcatta.
Cheers for reading, if you’d like to help the BTT keep the lights on you can donate below. Or don’t, free country.