The AFL is apparently drinking its own bathwater today as they reflect on the public sentiment towards their most depressing opening round in history.
While the AFL envisioned a 4 game opening round, they jumped on the opportunity to do absolutely nothing about TC Alferd warnings and literally let nature take its course. An insider told The Times,
“What a streak of luck, when the top brass heard that areas of Queensland would likely be unsuitable to hold footy games they saw their grand plan come to fruition much earlier than expected. Did they have enough warning to move the games? Yes but they weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth”
Unbeknownst to the legion of footy fans across the country, the AFL has fantasised about “Round -1” for decades. However, they knew the public couldn’t handle the full force of their genius all at once. So we’ve being slowly weaned off a proper opening round.
A source from within the AFL continued,
“Round -1 will be one hell of an opening round. Instead of footy matches there will be a massive advertiser blitz. A huge money making extravaganza designed to outdo the NRL or someshit. Look, we could explain it to you but your peasant, mouth breathing, general admission brain couldn’t comprehend it”
After round -1, there will be round 0 which will consist of 1 match, the following week will be known as round 0 and host 2 more, next will be round 0.2 which will have 2 more matches and finally round 1 where the rest will play. Now that’s footy!
Round -1 will be available on FTA television. One match will be free for round 0 and round 0.2 and 2 games free for round 1. All other games will need an expensive KAYO of Foxtel subscription.
Naturally, the announcement has been met with mixed reactions. 99% of the public has called for the CEO to be sacked while the other 1% consisting of people standing to make the most money from it.
What a time to be alive.
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