In a joyous victory speech, Albo thanked the WA people for helping make that “weak dog” ScoMo piss at the polls and helping the ALP seal the deal.
Witnesses say that the first thing Albo did when he learned of the swing in WA was seek out a local tattoo artist to get the WA postcode inked across his neck in solidarity with many of the locals.
A spokesperson for Albo told The Times,
“Obviously, Albo wanted to go to his guy in Bali but given the results, he is likely to be a little busy to get away for the minute. He just wanted to thank WA for support in the most WA possible”
Analysts are still reviewing the results but they believe WA swung towards Albo predominantly due to him not backing Clive, not calling us Cavemen (as an insult) and not being a dick on GST share.
It was a remarkable result, given WA traditionally is a hotbed of pro-Liberal sentiment. Albo is treating the thumbs up as the clearest sign he may just have been accepted by a population wary of outsiders.
Ripping a Vape in a classy jeans & thongs ensemble, Albo told The Times,
“It’s a privilege to be accepted by the WA people. In fact, I’ll go one further, it’s hell good. I want WA to know I’ll do everything I can to hook you up with a job on the moines”
Albo looked a little queasy as last night’s double meatbox with was having its morning revenge. He continued,
“You’ll have to excuse me, I’m feeling a bit dusty. Big night on the bush chooks at the victory party. Need to get a Brownes Choc Chill up me before cheering on Flagmantle later”
Some have suggested Albo has inscribed the sacred numbers on his neck too early. Claiming that WA is used to getting disrespected by the federal government and won’t just get him a free pass.
A spokesperson for Albo told The Times,
“He’s thought about that and believes having to get a highly visible tattoo altered because you didn’t think it through is the most WA thing he could do. In fact, it would endear him to the public even more”
All eyes on you Albo, don’t fark it up.
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