In typical American fashion, the superpower has taken the Olympic gold against France as irrefutable proof that they are not just Olympic champs but champions of the entire galaxy that America finds itself occupying with the rest of life.
This obviously comes as no surprise to the rest of the world given America routinely claim the winning NBA team in a season are the “world champs” despite clearly competing in a domestic competition.
A spokesperson for American basketball told The Times,
“Many people think Space Jam was just a fun film but it’s really how we see ourselves. That’s basically a documentary at this point given we are the galactic champions of basketball and the Olympic gold proves that”
Critics were quick to point out that America weren’t even world champs at this point, seeing as in 2023 Germany won the FIBA World Cup and USA came a depressing fourth.
Naturally, America was even quicker to dismiss this attack on their supremacy by stating Steph Curry’s shooting was proof they have what it takes to beat any lifeform in the milky way and to “bring it on”.
A spokesperson for the rest of the world responded by simply saying,
“Get ya hand off it, ya seppo dogs”
Classic America.