The seppos are at it again! Not only do they try to finesse their Olympic standing every 4 years by ordering the tally based on total medals rather than gold, now they are claiming all sorts of top spots.
The latest is both national and local news services reporting that the “USA” is at the top of the AFL Premiership Ladder.
Australian media was quick to get into a shitfight with the Americans challenging how they came to claim they were at the top of the ladder. An American journalist told The Times,
“Because America is the land of the free, it’s the greatest country in the world and it’s the American dream to traverse the globe like cultural giants and dominate everything we put our minds too. That’s why America is at the top of the AFL ladder”
It’s hard to refute so much horseshit in one sentence. Nevertheless, we asked the journalist what he’d think if the Australian press claimed that Australia was at the top of the NFL or NBA’s ladder. They said,
“I’d say you have a lot of energy left after sucking our hole so thoroughly with that AUKUS sub deal. We appreciate the effort you put in, especially yanking the frog’s chain like that. That’s an Ossssieism for yya”
Headlines from American mastheads also attempt to make the claim that the AFL only truly began when American recruit Mason Cox was drafted. With honourable mentions to Seamus McNamara & Jason Holmes.
It truly is the land of the brave.