Women in and around the Rockingham area have been warned to expect monsoonal floods in their undercarriages today after a local Eshay stepped out with some serious swagger.
The Rockingham Eshay deemed the piece of shit chain he bought off Temu to be impressive enough to rock over rather than under his shirt.
The supposed stainless steel item set him back $10 which he acquired through his last visit to nan’s place to gank anything good in her medicine cabinet.
We spoke to his first heartbreak victim who said the move screamed wealth. Adding,
“Oh wow, a stainless steel chain that he tells people is silver. That’s hot. You don’t hide a bad boy like that, move over 2 Chains you have some competition hehe”
Several other women had to make an emergency stop at the Rocko shops to buy fresh underwear after he made a lewd gesture at them while eScootering past with his chain shining in the morning sun.
We tracked down the caucasian casanova and asked him why he was making such a powerful fashion statement.
“Free all my dogs locked up in Saturday detention for real. I wear this to remind all the gronks who is Perth’s realest and that illchay lad”
Playing the Devil’s Advocate we asked the young waste of a creampie whether he believed the chain’s effects on the local female population was too powerful. He told us,
“Eshay bah, I’m fending it off with a stick adlay. Check out these rings too, you don’t want to get rocked when I’m wearing these”
The cheap rings were certainly formidable as they were waging a battle against his skin leaving them horribly tarnished.
It was a good look. Echoes of Carbon Bar on UFC day.