Australia has vowed to protect its citizens against all future global outages by making pirated copies of the GOAT Windows XP available to all citizens and businesses.
Many top Government departments are already running XP because in the words of the top brass “why try to improve on perfection”. Adding,
“Windows 11 is a pile of stealing shit! We have flown the flag of XP for years and that isn’t about to change. Why do we need apps on a desktop anyway? I think I speak for all of Australia when I say we’ve had a gutful of unnecessary apps!”
Accordingly, services running the best version of windows were unaffected by the global outage which was caused by a software update from cybersecurity firm CrowdStrike.
A spokesperson for the Australian Government told The Times,
“XP doesn’t play well with the Microsoft 365 apps and because our version is unsupported the update didn’t shit the bed. Once again Windows XP doing extraordinary things”
Aussies will be contacted in the upcoming days with an email containing a .exe Windows XP patch file that they are to open immediately.
We asked the government what else we could do to secure our computers. They told us,
“Just keep that expired version of McAfee that came installed on your computer 8 years ago”
Sound advice.