A source close to the ex-President of the United States said the man wasn’t going to come all the way to Australia and miss one of the greatest cultural exhibitions on earth. Adding,
“I think every American dreams of one day becoming president and then getting VIP seating at the WA Western Derby. It’s a real bucket list kind of thing. However, Barack has promised not to stay in his box and get down there with the common people to cheer on Eagles”
The source briefly stopped the interview to take a call regarding Obama’s security detail which had to be quadrupled when they heard he’d be cruising through Belmont. They continued,
“The Obama man had to go for the Eagles as the species of bird is our symbol of freedom. He also heard Flagmantle was sucking the house down. He’s here for a good time, not a long time, ya know?”
In a rare interview, Obama personally addressed The Times just to show how serious he is about the sporting spectacle. He told us,
“Now is the time for hope. For the Eagle to rise from the ashes. Now is the time to unite the world. Show them the greatest sporting spectacle on earth. Now is the time for the Western Australian derby”
It’s understood that Obama spent the rest of his evening researching local footy lingo and has successfully been able to scream “BALLLLLL” every time one of his secret servicemen practice a tackle.
He’s ready.