An employee at a Swan Valley winery has woken up in a cold sweat after the heavenly morning sun danced majestically around her room.
While regular weekday workers ravenously dry-humped the endless possibilities of the day over sourdough toast, Sarah’s eye twitched. For she knew what the day had in store for her. She told The Times,
“Do you smell that? That’s the stink of wine tour buses in the air. That’s the smell of golden nitrogen deposits wafting into my workplace from the surrounding vineyard. That’s the smell of doom”
Indeed it is, as any hospo worker on the front line when the weather turns stellar can attest to.
We spoke to one of Sarah’s coworkers who said statistically, one wine tour bogan is going to try and stash one of the bottles open for tasting down his pants and at least one will produce a sound that can be heard from space. Adding,
“Everywhere else in the world, wine and its surrounding culture is this sophisticated thing. Last week I saw a chick vomit in her mouth, swallow it back down, and then bring it back up into one of our wine glasses. Yuck”
Of course, not everyone is sympathetic to their plight. With one seasoned wine tour campaigner saying they are getting paid so they should be able to handle the sight of him jumping up into the tastings bench with his dick out. Adding,
“This country used to be able to have a laugh ay”
Similarly, bus drivers stand in solidarity with the winery & brewery workers as many have needed to invest in ear surgery well before anyone ought to have hearing issues.
Good luck out there.