“They don’t know what they bloody got!” Belmont resident Clint exclaimed as he was scrolling through Marketplace looking for a new bike just days after his old one was relieved of his custody.
He could hardly contain his excitement at being allowed to buy the bike back from the new owner for a fraction of what he paid for it. He told The Times,
“Man, I spent thousands on that bike. I actually don’t want to disclose the full amount because I’ve been wildly fluctuating between sobbing and punching walls since it got stolen. Now, I see it listed for just $500! It has the same scratch and everything. What a bloody deal!”
Clint organised a meeting given that he got the bike at a discount himself. So even after re-purchasing it, he’d still not have paid recommended retail value. At the meeting he even low balled the seller at the last minute, giving him $485 for the bike. He continued,
“Wait until he realises that I took him for almost 4k! Ha ha! How’s it feel to get robbed you piece of shit! Who is the thief now yewwwww”
We spoke to the grub who stole and sold back the bike. He claimed he knew exactly what he had but his personal circumstances stopped him selling such an item for its true value. He continued,
“You reckon someone is going to splash $4.5k on a road bike from a bloke they met in the Belmont Forum car park? Nah, just look at me, I’d steal me mother’s fake teeth so I find if you give a real low price people magically forget about the ethics of buying stolen goods”
It’s hard to see how Clint has managed to complete the mental gymnastics to claim a “win” here but ultimately, happiness is a state of mind. Well done Clint. Keep your bargain locked up this time.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?