Joe Biden has sent shockwaves through American politics today by announcing he’s stepping aside in the Presidential race due to some lacklustre performances on the campaign trail.
Critics of the one term President say he’s presenting as the sort of man who really should retire and what better way to head to Retiretopia in Mandurah, WA.
A spokesperson for Joe Biden told The Times,
“America is a mess and given the likely results of the election it’s not going to get much better. Joe has heard of a boomer paradise down under and he’s very keen to get a slice of it. He’s been told that it’s good enough for Rex Hunt’s mate so why not him?”
After finishing his duties endorsing Kamala Harris, he’ll fly into Perth, acquire a 300 series LandCruiser and then meander his way down the Freeway to Secret Harbour Dome.
He will then fulfil his lifelong dream of consuming a “long mac topped up” served extra hot and in a mug. He says he’ll be “hard but fair” on the staff to ensure the coffee order is made directly.
He will then proceed from Secret Harbour to his house on the Mandurah canals to see out the rest of his days sitting on a deckchair and complaining about every little thing that occurs in his area.
A current Mandurah canal resident told The Times that they had already put in a complaint over the plans and say that a high-profile resident would disturb their peace and quiet. With one saying,
“We will be waiting for him when he arrives with our personal list of terms & conditions he’ll need to abide by if he wants to live here”
Looks like you’re up for a bigger battle than getting through a debate Joe!
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