Essentially, two types of people wear Tapout – sponsored MMA fighters and dudes who spend their weekend getting off their head and shadow boxing in their mate’s pippy palace.
If you see someone who owns a pair of Tapout shorts it will be extremely likely that they fall into this second category. Together they form an exclusive club of all the worst people in society
Perhaps the greatest adversity that Tapout wearers face is trying to look hard while doing their tough-guy-gear shopping surrounded by full time mummies at their local Big W.
To claw back some of their street cred, a Tapout wearer will not submit to the chokehold of civil obedience and will walk straight through the beeping gates without paying.
To cement themselves in the scumbag hall of fame they’ll stare down the older woman who has to check people’s bags. “What are you going to do, grandma?” Move over diamonds, here’s who’s hard.
When a man struts into the local sports bar in his Tapout gear it is akin to a real athlete walking into the octagon. His own theme music is playing in his head and he’s giving every male in the room the look.
What look? The “I’ve never lost a Biff in my life” look. Which isn’t true as they are usually losing the fight against obesity, male pattern baldness and gainful employment.
Like all exclusive clubs, there are levels to Tapout membership. At the bottom, you have mere short-wearers. These look great with a hard kent leg tattoo and skate shoe combo.
Next up the shirt owners. These guys have committed to the lifestyle and will almost certainly spend an entire UFC pay per view talking about how he’s going to drop a bouncer.
Finally, you have the ultimate level of dedication to the brand – the hoodie. Nothing says, “I know my way around a McDonald’s car park meth deal” quite like one of these bad boys.
They wear them all year round, regardless of temperature so you can bet that they smell like the BFG’s ball sack.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?