Boss tells staff that while they now have the right to disconnect, he retains the right to be a petty, vindictive tyrant 

Right to disconnect laws have come into play today for all national system employees earning under 175k a year. To celebrate the legislation, a boss of large company decided to address the workforce. 

By all reports, the head honcho gleefully informed his staff of their right to face no disciplinary action for not attending to work tasks outside their contractual hours. 

After spelling out what the laws meant he then switched gears and the boss they all knew and loved came out. A witness told The Times,

“It was suss at the start. Why was he so happy? For context, this is the bloke who rang me on my wedding day to follow up on an email he CC’d me in. Then it all became clear when he told us that we can disconnect but he will still rule over promotions, pay rises and employee perks with an iron fist”

We spoke to the boss who couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. He told The Times,

“Is there any laws saying I have to promote these globs of primordial ooze? No. Is there any law that says I have invite any of them to the hot-shit corporate retreats and golf days? No. You wanna ignore my call fine but I will have my vengeance!”

Critics of the laws predicted this situation occurring. While it’s fantastic that an employee can’t be directly shat on for turning their phone off outside of work, it’s also true that they perhaps underestimated the pure capacity for spite and malice middle to senior management have towards their workforce drones. 

Witnesses also describe the boss continuing his rant and told them that for every email or phone call ignored he’d move his pen 1cm closer to the page to sign off on a hot-desking policy for the office. 

The horror.