Not all corporate miners are built the same. While some like to Cosplay in the Pilbara heat, others prefer to remind the rest of the Terrace that they have conquered the high seas.
Thus, the corporate-branded Helly Hansen is a must this season the Terrace for anyone who has stepped foot on a rig as part of an office field trip once a year.
We spoke to such a man who was waiting for his coffee while scoffing at the land corporate miners in their “pathetic” North Face gilets. He told The Times,
“See this mate? Norwegian. Feel this, fleece lining. This bad boy could get me through a winter on The North Sea. It exudes power and is very handy when I head offshore to establish dominance on the rig. They fear me”
They don’t. In fact, the last time he was on the rig he was nicknamed “bait” after the worker’s desire to treat him to an impromptu diving session that Jacques Cousteau would be proud of.
Nevertheless, in the interest of good journalism, we had to determine whether the rugged outdoorsy charm of the branded Helly Hansen jackets was rubbing off on the local women.
To that end, we spoke to a group of girls enjoying a coffee on The Terrace. We put it to them that seeing a perfectly groomed office-dweller in such attire elevated him to the ranks of Bear Grylls with a full bladder. One told The Times,
“Definitely, if he can survive hot desking and those weird ergonomic chairs then he can definitely survive what working offshore can throw at him. That’s a man’s man right there. A chad, as the kids say”
Well. there you go. Never in doubt.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?