After ditching bags, dating apps and bars earlier this year, local run club pest decided to up his game and take his brand of aerobic sleazery to the next level.
He knew he’d have his work cut out for him signing up for the 12km run but perhaps didn’t fully appreciate the challenges that would lay before him.
Struggling to breath with a face as red as slapped baboon’s arse, Bailey told The Times,
“I wasn’t expecting everyone to take it so seriously. Usually every one humours my bawdy remarks and cheeky quips. I could tell the women at this event were trying to get into a zone and that zone was Bailey-free”
Not one to give up, Bailey did his best to keep up the pace and show the buffet of fitness delights that his plate had room for them all. Alas, he also wasn’t ready for the pace.
We spoke to a female runner who claims Bailey was trying to canvas who was keen to hit Yo-Chi with him after. She told The Times,
“This guy rocked up with his hair sculptured and cologne on. I think he failed to realise that everyone is in this for the post run selfie with their time proudly plastered all over the caption. This isn’t a Saturday morning run club, the only thing we’re trying to mount is the podium of social media bragging”
Although not everyone looked at Bailey like a disgusting worm. Some admired his commitment to pushing through the pain and still trying to get his dick wet despite being clearly out of his element.
Another female runner told The Times,
“Look, even if any of us were here to meet someone, he’d have to do much better than the pathetic time he put in for the 12km. You can’t be crossing in an hour 40 and thinking you’ll impress anyone as a finely tuned machine. Good on him for having a go but he has a lot to learn about fun runs that aren’t about fun at all”
Ah Bailey, better up the training for next year!