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Monday, April 13, 2026
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Category: BREAKING NEWS

Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

BREAKING: The Thames Now 100% Salt Water After Flood Of English Tears

Belle July 4, 2023

The mighty Thames has been reclassified from brackish water to a 100% pure marine environment after the weekend saw countless gigalitres of English tears flow…

View More BREAKING: The Thames Now 100% Salt Water After Flood Of English Tears
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

How to get the most tax back from those ATO dogs

Belle July 4, 2023

G’day Keifo here. Not surprisingly, I deal with dumb dogs every day and it has become my mission to replace the shit between your ears…

View More How to get the most tax back from those ATO dogs
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

English coworker lashes “Aussie spirit” after leaving meeting early and missing out on pastries 

Belle July 3, 2023

“It’s just not cricket, mate”, office pombag Greg mused as he reflected on all the flakey delights he forfeited when he decided to chuck a wobbly…

View More English coworker lashes “Aussie spirit” after leaving meeting early and missing out on pastries 
Bell Tower Times From the Zoo Sports

7 Types Of Cretins You Can’t Avoid This Ashes Series

Belle July 3, 2023 cricketsports

The Ashes is one of the hottest competitions between England & Australia. Naturally, not everyone is on their best behaviour during this series. Here are…

View More 7 Types Of Cretins You Can’t Avoid This Ashes Series
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Unprepared trampoline owner sure hopes kids aren’t overly attached to it

Belle July 2, 2023

Perth father, Steven has declared “she’ll be right” in response to his wife’s request that he secure their newly purchased trampoline in preparation for heavy…

View More Unprepared trampoline owner sure hopes kids aren’t overly attached to it
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

BREAKING: Bunga awarded honourary Westralian citizenship for his services to the state

Belle July 1, 2023

Shannon “Bunga” Hurn has been awarded honourary Westralian citizenship after moving from South Australia and debuting for the Eagles in 2006. As a general rule,…

View More BREAKING: Bunga awarded honourary Westralian citizenship for his services to the state

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