Florists hate him! Because Sammy has discovered a way to get a beautiful bouquet of roses without spending a dollar.
That’s right, like many cash poor and disorganised punters, Sammy will be visiting the forbidden florist this year. After all, does his boomer neighbours really need THAT many roses?
While his strategy is cost effective it does come with some risks. We spoke to Sammy who admitted that sometimes the forbidden florist is an angry place. Adding,
“You can’t like own a rose man. They come from the ground. You gonna go around claiming dominion over all of nature’s joys? So yeah I ‘steal’ roses. I’ve had hoses turned on me, I’ve had dogs go me and I’ve even had a small Mediterranean man curse me in Italian and try to fight me, so what?”
Indeed he has. In fact, what Sammy fails to mention is that Frank ran a clinic in the sweet science and left him with a busted lip last year. An extra special gift for his mother to stare at all brunch.
We spoke to Frank who lives a few houses down from Sammy and asked him about the fracas. He told The Times,
“You toucha my roses and I’ll planta you in da ground! Stupid boy. I send him home with a bag of lemons. He take, he a good boy, he stupid but he a good boy”
We spoke to WA Police who have warned against partaking from the fruits of the Forbidden Florist. Adding that it breaches a number of property offences and you could be prosecuted.
Good luck to everyone out there.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?