The City of Perth is being told to take a bow after deciding to scrap free night parking and raise the cost of parking across the board.
The decision is being heralded as visionary as it strikes at the very heart of the CBD’s problem – too many people are beating down the door to enjoy it!
An expert on inner city activation told The Times that she was still in a state of shock. Adding,
“I think we can all agree that there is nothing worse than wading through the intense crowds in the Perth CBD on an average night. Sometimes you feel like you are in New York or London, you know? So scrapping the free parking should help manage the levels and hopefully someone can get a few centimetres of personal space”
Cutting down numbers visiting the Perth CBD has been a major goal for decades. However, jacking up parking costs isn’t the only solution experts feel is needed.
Another urban activation expert told The Times that there needs to be at least 5 times more human urine splashed in alleyways to help deter the overly eager crowds. Adding,
“Perth CBD smells far too good. Simple as that. We need to make sure people realise that they can enjoy the hustle & bustle of a major urban environment with slightly less piss in Leedy or Highgate, take some of the pressure off the CBD “
Not everyone agrees on that point with some arguing that if you make the laneways TOO Melbournesque then we’ll be swarmed by wankers who lived in Melbs for 6 months and confuse ammonia & nitrogen in their nostrils with culture.
We’ll have to wait to see what CoP does next.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?