It seems Perth man, Tony, has once again failed to heed the warnings from both Mother Nature and emergency services coming into storm season. In true Perth form, he has failed to clear his gutters for the 10th year running.
At about 6 am, he was awoken by the sound of a steady downpour. His eye twitched as he checked the weather reports. “Aw shit”, he moaned as he reflected on last May when his entire outdoor area flooded and in turn seeped into his carpet. He can still smell the mouldy stank to this day.
When we spoke to Tony, he was setting up makeshift barricades at each door facing the elements. He paused from storm prep for a moment to tell The Times,
“Heads are going to roll if my house gets flooded again. How does this always happen? One day you’re sipping cocktails in a beer garden and the next your negligent gutter maintenance is rogering you up the cook!”
So pumped for another round of water damage, Tony has taken the day off work. He continued,
“I’ll be on the blower all day to my property manager telling them to unfuck my backyard or I’ll take them to SAT. How can you say I am responsible for ensuring I don’t cause damage to the property I rent?
Tony went on to rant about not being a lumberjack and bearing no responsibility for clearing his yard of potential hazards like tree branches either. Clearly, he was expecting a visit from the storm prep fairies before today and that simply never happened.
Time will tell if today is the day Tony’s habitual negligence shits the bed but if not today, soon.
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