As everyone is aware by now, Nicolas Cage is shooting a film called The Surfer in Yallingup this month. However, due to a mix-up by the costume department, the actor has given us a cheeky look at his upcoming movie The Jet Skier which will be shot in Rockingham later this year.
The Jet Skier is a film about a man who finds his salvation on the seat of a jet ski. Alas, a local group of jet ski bogans don’t take kindly to the new guy on the block. Especially because he’s ripping it harder than they can.
After a fight at a Rockingham boat ramp, Nicolas Cage’s character has his jet ski damaged and his Ford Ranger keyed. He decides that he won’t be intimidated by the jet ski gang and fights back. A spokesperson for Cage told The Times,
“The Jet Skier is a psychological thriller. It’s kind of an unofficial sequel to the surfer but obviously a lot more harrowing. Nic Cage plans to spend a month in Rockingham learning the local’s ways before filming begins”
In preparation, Nicolas Cage has developed a passion for the vape, designer sunglasses, and hard af arm tattoos. He has also been spending countless hours practicing his staunching stare in the mirror.
We spoke to a local Rockingham jet ski enthusiast who said the stare is everything and unless he gets it perfect the movie won’t feel real. He told The Times,
“Anyone can play a Yallingup surfer. You just have to love yourself too much and think smelling like Mr. Zog’s is a personality trait. To be a Rocko jet ski boy you have to pretend that you love yourself but really your underlying anger issues come from a place of deep insecurity. That’s what all the biffo is about”
We understand that Daniel Day Lewis was the first choice for The Jetskier. However, the man is a notorious method actor and insisted on leaving no rock unturned. By that we mean he got on the gear as hard as the Rocko jet ski community and did his life a bit of a disservice.
After spending 72 hours straight going on “Mandurah runs” to bash weak dogs, Daniel Day Lewis told his management to get him out of there before he ends up in Hakea. We wish Daniel a speedy recovery. Well, not speedy, hasty.
Photo credit: BACKGRID/Ghosty
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