Crypto investor Kyle didn’t waste an opportunity to flex on the crypto community when he passed a 2005 Nissan Pulsar in the street earlier today.
Instinctively, he checked if the coast was clear before conducting a little selfie-photoshoot next to a car many crypto bros could only dream of affording right now. A true marker of extravagant wealth.
Kyle took 58 photos making sure to alternate pieces of clothing to ensure it looked like he was posing with the vehicle on different days thus making them all believe he owned this rig.
After getting home, Kyle immediately posted the photo to all of his social media accounts. Even replacing the Lambo he didn’t own in his FB cover photo. He told The Times,
“05 Nissan Pulsars are the new Lambos to the crypto community. Have you seen what’s happening out there? It ain’t pretty. Anyone not catching the bus right now would be considered a crypto millionaire mate”
Unfortunately for Kyle, his portfolio of predominantly shitcoins was decimated over the last few months and his mining rig is no longer economical to run. A harsh lesson in the virtue of diversification of your investments.
Nevertheless, his 05 Nissan Pulsar honey trap worked a treat. With several female crypto investors messaging him instantly to ask him what his secret was. Kyle told The Times,
“I knew it’d work. They couldn’t resist sending me a DM. They wanted to know how I managed to keep balling when everyone else was going broke. It got a little awkward when they wanted a ride in my Pulsar”
Social climber and shitcoin bankrupt, Mel was one of those girls who was attracted to Kyle’s vulgar display of wealth. She told The Times,
“You see a crypto bro flexing his Nissan Pulsar and you think yeah righto mate, clearly overcompensating for what’s under your hood. So, I guess you could say I’m more attracted to the glitz & glamour of the Pulsar lifestyle than the owner of the car and that’s why I messaged him”
We asked Kyle if he was concerned about his deception being uncovered. He told The Times,
“If someone put me on the spot I’d just tell them I’m upgrading. You think I’m going to sit on a 05 Pulsar when the 06 model is giving me the eye. Real ballers keep moving man. I reckon that’ll convince them anyway”
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