A diabetic woman who recently joined a Western Suburbs health club couldn’t believe how popular she was after news of her classification spread around.
We spoke with the woman who said she mentioned in passing that she was a diabetic to a fellow gym goer and found a bottle of Pol Roger champagne in her locker when she finished her workout. Adding,
“I’ve never been this popular in my life! I have no idea why. People are so interested in my disease and what the doctors are doing to fight it!”
She said she became even more popular on the day the Government announced it would be cracking down on compounded drugs that amount to replicas of Ozempic. She added,
“I wonder if there is a connection there? No surely not. Why would there be? Why would these Western Suburbs women care about Diabetes medication? Did you know I don’t even have to drive here, Elizabeth has her driver pick me up on the way to drop her off!”
To get to the bottom of this mystery, we tracked down Liz who tried to steer the interview towards the Government ban on compounded Ozempic replicas. However, we got things back on track and asked why she liked the new gym member so much. She told The Times,
“Despite every veiled threat I could throw at him my GP won’t prescribe me Ozempic anymore. He says the heat is on. Oh, the new girl? Um, well, she… can complete me, make me whole, let’s put it that way”
We felt closer to the truth but continued on our search for answers. We spoke to a more robust woman who told The Times,
“Life got hard for a lot of us when our now adult children moved out of home and with them their bottle of ADHD medication. Some went back to Diet Coke and ciggies and others tried positive lifestyle changes. Then Ozempic hit the scene! Then the diabetics whinged they couldn’t get their prescriptions! Then we found a loophole! We need that precious”
We returned to the new gym member with our findings. We told her that while she no down had a magnetic personality she should be wary of some of these new friends.
Especially if she lets them use her bathroom with an unlocked medicine cabinet and they discover she doesn’t have any.