A Melbourne man experienced culture shock this weekend when he attended a Bunnings sausage sizzle with his Westralian host.
Feeling the lovely effects of 13 pints of Swan from the night, the fancyman was heard bragging in the car that he felt it would have to be a 3 snag kinda day.
That’s until he stepped up to the plate and realised that this wasn’t his nanna’s sausage sizzle. Ain’t no sliced bread around these parts, champ. His WA host told The Times,
“I asked him if he still wanted three and you could tell he was doing the mental maths of whether he was up to the task. We like a bit more bread in WA, so I told him he was going to have to put on his big boy pants if he was going to smash 3”
Like a coward, the Melbourne man sought to amend the order but it was too late. Cards had been tapped. Cold cans had been exchanged. It was fuck or walk.
Sensing his fear, the sausage sizzle man offered him so reassuring words, “get that into ya”. After just ¾ of one he was struggling.
After struggling his way through 2 he sat looking at the third in the car and exclaimed that he would save it for later. Like that was a normal thing to do.
To add insult to injury, his Westralian host decided to show him how it’s done. Grabbing the roll and powering through the girthy delights before turning to his mate and telling him “that’s how it’s done”.
Clearly disturbed, the Melbourne man started to whinge about single slices of bread being better. Claiming that the ratio was all wrong with the Westralian style.
You’ll all be glad to know he was made to walk the rest of the way home.