It’s a tough day to be a footy oval curator but an even tougher day to be Ed Sheeran. With back-to-back games at Perth Stadium after his concert creating an absolute shitshow of sensationalism in the media.
The people have well and truly been worked up into a frenzy that any injury incurred this weekend is a direct result of that fkn little ranga and his special sway over society.
The drama is focused on the extensive work needed to be done at Perth Stadium after the concert. Similar scenes occurred at the MCG with some noting that there seemed to be a few extra injuries in the second game at the G. Naturally, Ed Sheeran was to blame. We spoke to a passionate Flagmantle fan who told The Times,
“Let’s put it this way, if Brayshaw does an ACL I’ll be flying to London personally to drag that little pop superstar back here to face the music. Ha ha, get it, music, but I’m talking a public flogging”
Similarly, a West Coast fanatic has already met with several law colleagues to look into a formal extradition order to face the WA public if any of the rookies experience a turf-related injury.
Naturally, people who are paid a lot of money to get these things right are saying the turf is perfectly safe. These assurances haven’t stopped the fans from promising there will be blood, however. Another Flagmantle fan told The Times,
“Yeah look, injuries can happen any time anywhere but now we have a communal target to channel our rage out. You can’t just let that kind of opportunity go. Ed Sheeran, Perth Stadium, and Mark McGowan are going to cop the lot”