An employee at one of WA’s biggest employers is licking her wounds today after being dragged across the coals for a particularly heinous act.
It seems that after being forced to ask insincere mental health questions to her coworkers while eating yellow cupcakes she actually became somewhat concerned at a clearly uncomfortable employee.
This led to Maree discreetly approaching her minutes after the morning tea had ended to have a chat and see if she’d like to join her little crew for lunch on this sunny day.
NOT. ON. HR’s. WATCH.
We spoke to Maree who told The Times,
“I could feel the office manager and HR consultant or whatever the shit they call themselves gazing at me from across the hot-desk-hell they created. When I returned to my desk I was met by the pair who asked me if I’d read the official “R U OK DAY” morning tea guidelines and why 20 minutes wasn’t enough for me to fulfill their corporate box ticking”
Accordingly, Maree is required to attend a lunchtime “education session” where the virtues of the company’s policy on socialising on work time will be hammered into her.
HR states that failing to adhere to the clearly defined 20 minute “period of concern” robbed the business of an observable moment of well-being that could be photographed and reported to shareholders. Not to mention the gap in her timesheet now.
We spoke to the HR consultant who said the company has a 0-tolerance policy on workplace fraternising outside of clearly defined boundaries. Adding,
“We clearly stated that any and all concerns shall be expressed within the 20 minute morning tea period of concern. After that, the employee will resume ordinary duties. What’s so hard about that to understand? If she was so concerned about her coworker she would’ve asked more succinct questions or waited until her designated lunch break. Which we have now cancelled”
While Maree sobs in her office, HR is ACTUALLY doing some work by writing up the terms of a very onerous performance management agreement that Maree will be required to sign.
We spoke to a senior manager at the company who said he was pretty furious the “spirit of the day” had been abused. Adding,
“We try to give people a good balance but it’s never enough for them. Now I have to explain to my superiors why there is a 15-20 minute gap in her timesheet where she thought a chinwag with a struggling employee was appropriate. Makes you sick”
It certainly does.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?