Experts who have largely doubted the effectiveness of an under 16s social media ban on reducing harm have rallied together to agree that one social media platform should certainly be banned.
It comes after yet another self-proclaimed CEO wrote a lengthy and annoyingly formatted post about what his wife giving birth taught him about B2B sales. An excerpt from the haunting post read,
“As my wife screamed in agony a young nurse rushed to her aid
Instinctively, she knew to hold her hand. An embrace.
She told her it was too late for an epidural. My wife screamed more.
That’s when I knew that the best way to generate stronger Q4 B2B sales was clearer communication before the deadline.
Let me continue…”
Jesus. Horrible stuff, we can all agree. An expert told The Times,
“Linkedin has argued they are too boring to be included in the ban but if kids flock to Linkedin as a place to go then they will be exposed to posts like that. Is that the kind of content we want kids reading? Do we want kids to grow up to be as big a weirdo as that guy? No.”
Some Linkedin enthusiasts say that a few rogue posts don’t speak for the entire platform. However after a quick look at their profiles we could tell that they were precisely the type to write out this kind of tripe on the daily.
Their opinions were therefore deemed far too biased and stupid to be taken seriously.
We asked a 14 year old who will be 15 when the ban comes into place. He told The Times,
“My Coca Cola sales from the cooler bag I bring to school were down trending lately.
I realised that a healthy mind is what creates a healthy business.
So I began waking up at 3:30 every morning and reading an entire book before school.
Now I can afford the entire tuckshop”
STOP. JUST STOP. It may already be too late.
We understand that the Albanese Government cringed while reading the post and said they would certainly give Linkedin’s inclusion a lot more thought.
We can all agree that is a good thing for society.