Tom’s family knew he had a problem after discovering he was carrying around a bag of fresh grass clippings to get him through the day.
After confronting him, he broke down and admitted to huffing the delightful smell of a hard yakka up to 20 times a day. Saying it was often the only joy he felt while navigating the perils of a loveless career.
We spoke to his wife who had slowly watched her man turn into a depraved grass-fiend over the years. She told The Times,
“It all started when we had our first boy. He changed from a bit of a social party guy to a hardcore dad. He really took a shine to mowing the lawn. It was a pretty rapid decline from there”
Within a matter of months, Tom had gone from borrowing his neighbour’s lawn mower to forking out 600 clams for a Honda Yard Force.
Soon after, Tom was offering to mow the neighbour’s lawn. Sometimes even if they didn’t ask. Tom didn’t care he was chasing the green dragon and nothing would stand in his way.
His wife wiped tears as she continued to describe the monster her hubby had become,
“He was scratching all the time. He had that grass itch bad. Sometimes I’d catch him googling how to make grass grow faster. So he can indulge more often. It was around this time I got worried”
Tom admits that the bag full of clippings looked bad but denied he had a problem. Telling The Times,
“Nothing like the smell of a freshly mowed lawn mate. The smell just brings me back to happy Saturday mornings when the sun is shining. I’ve got this guy from Jim’s Mowing on speed dial to deliver me the freshest gear. What’s wrong with that?”
Nevertheless, during the intervention, Tom admitted that calling his lawn mower his favourite child was probably a step too far. We can only hope they find peace in Tom’s affliction.
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