They say life comes at you fast, and that is undeniably true for newly minted baller Ethan who realised his childhood dream of moving out of Balga and into Westminster.
It has been a long road for Ethan and he says he’ll never forget those days staring across to the other side of Reid Highway dreaming of a life he wasn’t living.
We sat down with Ethan as he poured his Woodstock & Cola into a glass with ice that his fridge dispenses. He told The Times,
“Life is so much better at the top. I remember back in 1995 when they rebranded the southern part of Balga, I asked my mum if we’d ever get to move there. I’ll never forget her response, she put her dart out in a slice of Homebrand cheesecake, you know the one with the raspberry on top, and told me to dream on”
There was no mistaking Ethan’s swagger. He was a man on a mission to show the world he has levelled up. Which was very apparent when he produced a bag of Red Rock to snack on. He continued,
“Didn’t even wait for a 2fa special. I just bought ’em right of the shelf. No more supermarket brands for me. Come check out this new outdoor setting I got from Amart”
While Ethan was clearly loving the good life, some of his friends from Balga have said he’s changed and they no longer enjoy his company. We spoke to Tiphaknee who told The Times,
“He smokes from a glassy now and judges us for still using a Powerade bottle at 35. I think he’s forgotten where he’s come from”
Another mate said Ethan wore imitation Birkeys to his Bali wedding. Adding,
“Suddenly he moves to Westminster and he’s too good to go barefoot. It’s on a bloody beach! We used to gank pre-mix from the bottlo barefoot all the time. Thinks he’s all Hollywood now”
No doubt.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?