Krayden’s mates feel like they have been living a lie after the FIFO worker revealed that he is only contractually employed to one mine site despite his claims he works “on the moines”.
The revelation happened after several beers, when a friend of a friend visiting from Radelaide asked Krayden in front of everyone which mines he worked at.
A witness at the table described the moments before the bombshell was dropped,
“Krayden always talks about his job in a plural sense. None of us really questioned it because it’s fairly in line with his general ‘I’m keeping Australia afloat’ attitude’, but yeah you could really feel the tension in the room when he got asked which mines”
Krayden explained that he has worked at over 5 mine sites over his career but conceded that he only held gainful employment at one at any given time.
An eerie silence fell over the table as Krayden’s mates desperately tried to come to grips with the news. A close mate of Krayden composed himself before turning to face him directly and asked him if it was true. A witness continued,
“Thommo felt pretty betrayed. He’s always telling people about how proud he is of his mate Krayden working up on the moines. To find out that he only ever darkens the security gate of one site per contractual period really took the shine out of it”
After 5 more Jack & coke stubbies, Krayden broke down and admitted his egregious pluralisation of his job description was stupid and he didn’t know why he did it. All he knew is that he couldn’t stop.
After the group shared some hard truths they eventually bonded over the moment. Promising to never lie to each other again. One of his mates even managed to slip some well needed comic relief in when he said he was starting his new forkie job in the “warehouses” next week.
All wounds had healed until Krayden decided to call it a night and told everyone that he was due back up on the moines tomorrow so couldn’t have a big one.
Oh Krayden, you just can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?