Western Australia, represented by Premier Cook, broke hearts today as he sat on Santa’s lap and asked for another once-in-a-century mining boom to bless WA’s shores.
Those watching on could see the pain in Santa’s eyes as he tried to stay strong for WA which is unlikely to see such an economic boom by the 25th of December this year. A witness told The Times,
“Santa hugged Roger and told him that anything is possible if you are a good boy. He was trying to keep his hopes up when in reality he knew the chances of China suddenly developing an urge to build 500 more ghost cities was quite slim”
Roger’s beaming smile only made the scene sadder. With many worrying that Santa had built up his hopes too much.
After all, it’s the dream of any sitting Premier to experience a multi-decade period of unprecedented prosperity. Even if we only did get Elizabeth Quay after the last one.
Waiting nearby was Twiggy who reportedly asked Roger if “he’d done it” and “what did he say?” A witness who overheard the transaction told The Times,
“I got the feeling that Twiggy had sent Roger in to ask the question. When he told him that Santa said it was possible, Twiggy started fist pumping like a Turbo at Stereosonics”
While the atmosphere was heavy with delusion, a member of the public decided to manage WA’s expectations by telling Roger that we already have a very nice mining industry and to be grateful for that.
This sobering thought didn’t sit well with Twiggy who despite enjoying a near-record-high FMG stock price wanted more. A witness added,
“Twiggy just roared at the man that it was boom or bust. That’s how WA rolled and it’s time for another boom so he can outbid Gina on all the other leftover Australian brands”
Goodluck WA. Hope it’s coming.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?