Hearts have melted today after a couple of little boys were seen in their Matildas jerseys running around on the footpath as their mum tried to wrangle them towards her car.
A bystander said the boys had fully obviously taken a shine to the Aussie soccer phenomenon and in particular their idol Sam Kerr. She told The Times,
“One of the little boys was tugging at his mum’s dress and he said, ‘mummy can I go and spew in that taxi?’ the mum’s eyes just welled up with tears of joy”
We managed to track down the mum who told The Times that this was equality in action and her boys were looking up to female athletes’ poor behaviour too. Adding,
“A year ago my boys would be asking me if they could go do some blow in the toilet like Ginnivan or Bailey Smith. Now they are wanting to follow in a strong female role model’s indiscretion. I told them they’d have to wait until they were a bit older hehe”
The mum was so moved by her son’s display of equality that she called her husband to tell him what good little boys they were raising. He told The Times,
“As a special treat, I’m going to let the boys give a few highway pigs the middle finger against the car door on the ride home. I’m so proud. One day I hope to be called to an argument over the cleaning fee of a taxi but they have a lot of work to do before that point”
A truly joyous event for our nation. Just don’t touch the car antenna kids!
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?