Today, iron man is primarily the domain of those slightly intense guys at your office who purified themselves in the waters of ultra endurance in the hope of undoing the damage of years of pinga and bag-fuelled debauchery.
In fact, kids today will never fully understand that the highest rank you could obtain as an Australian citizen was to be the current champion of the Uncle Toby’s Super Series. You were less an athlete and more of a God.
This was mostly due to the fact the events more gruelling than a box set of M*A*S*H – with a real focus on paddling & swimming. Anyone who has tried to get the job done on a shrivelled dexiedick at 5 am after a bender knows only a fraction of the burn these guys would feel in their arms. That alone is worth the prestige.
You also have to remember that this was an era where cereal companies ruled the airwaves. Perhaps to ease some of the guilt for tricking Aussies to consume a day’s worth of sugar in a single bowl, they leaned into surf life saving hard. This was cereal town, baby.
In fact, being able to perform a competent Nutri-Grain scream was basically a citizenship requirement. Let alone being able to do a good one. That would get you a nod of approval from Mike Whitney – the highest honour an Australian could receive at the time.
These days, people couldn’t even name 3 iron men or women. Let alone having multiple posters of Trevor Hendy in their room. It’s not even being dramatic to say Hendy was probably the most famous man in Australia during his dominant reign.
So famous in fact, that the über-popular Baywatch did an Aussie iron man episode. Trevor Hendy, Pamela and the Hoff. Tell me you don’t want a slice of that club sandwich.
Although Hendy was the superstar one can’t forget the names Guy Leech, Darren Mercer, Ky Hurst, Grant Kenny & Guy Andrews. Even hearing these names would motivate you to dig yourself out of your party pie-rut and dive for some batons at the beach or someshit.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?