Last week, it was business as usual for the major Australian media organisations until a post appeared on LinkedIn.
A man who dubbed himself the King of Simps put out a call to the media industry that he was ready for an exciting job in journalism.
Not only did the expression of interest specify that he spent over ¾ of his salary on the OF but he was across every model on the platform. In simple words, he was journalism’s golden goose.
We spoke to Harry and asked him what interested him in journalism, he told The Times,
“I was sitting around a table with my mates and I broke a story that one of the OF models I subscribe to was planning to bang as many bus drivers as she could in a day. The look of bemused interest on their faces, I knew there and then I was a natural born newsman”
Indeed he is. We can reveal that he has spoken with most major organisations over lavish dinners which included massages and gifts.
Clearly the particulars of trying to land a whale this big are confidential but one insider told The Times that a major Australian masthead wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Adding,
“Mate, he’s being offered like $60k a year, that’s double your average clickbait journalist’s salary. They are also giving him full editorial control. He’s an artist and his factoids about OF models is his art”
Naturally, not everyone is happy with the interest in the up-and-coming rockstar journalist.
While researching the story, we were contacted by a woman who said she was the “Socrates” of knowing fast food menus, Kmart dupes and reading BOM forecasts. A triple threat that surely was worth as much as the OF kings. She told The Times,
“Why should he get the bigger pay when I clearly can deliver 3 times more utter garbage than him? Yeah I get that we all need to know what weird request an OF model got but don’t you think people need to know a McCrispy with a piece of pineapple is coming back to the Maccas menu? I mean, come on”
It raises a good question. Should modern media organisations be putting all their investigative journalism eggs in the one basket?
An insider told The Times that diversifying clickbait was essential but for now OF articles were the “gold standard” that all other clickbait was measured against.
At the time of writing this article, Harry was not signed an employment contract nor accepted any freelance work. In his words,
“I know what I’ve got, no low ballers”
Good luck with a promising career Harry.
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