A JB Hi-Fi customer was left in tears today after making the special trip to the store to experience the judgmental gaze of an employee as she went to purchase a gift for hubby today.
She believed the purchase of a Coldplay vinyl would “certainly” do the trick. She also hoped to garner some eyerolls or tuts as she boorishly flicked through the vinyl section like a musically illiterate wildebeest that had got into the fermented bush fruit.
However, even after tracking down a staff member to specifically ask ignorant questions she wasn’t treated like a philistine. Needless to say, the company came down hard on this employee. How dare they.
We tracked down the employee who was gold in no uncertain terms that they missed “dozens” of opportunities to smugly smirk at the basic music taste and clear lack of understanding of how vinyl works. He told The Times,
“I don’t know what came over me. I haven’t been the same since this DMT trip last weekend. I was visited by the spirit of Anthony Fantano and told to practise gratitude. So I let this lady off the hook. I’m sorry for the distressed that I caused”
By all reports, the young man is understating what went down this morning. With another employee almost fainting after the lady asked a follow up question about whether her hubby would like some BeatsbyDre headphones. She told The Times,
“This isn’t the coworker I know and love. Any other day he would’ve made it clear that those headphones were fine for *someone like that* with a shiteating smirk that you’d just want to keep smashing with your fist, over and over and over and over again”
The company is so serious about the matter that they are even prepared to cut the man loose before the real X-Mas rush. Even if that left it understaffed, it was a necessary action that would need to be taken by the company.
We understand he has been sent to the laptop section to gawp at noobs cheaping out and wanting to know if 2GB of RAM will be enough for needs. It’s day one stuff, pal, don’t fark this up.
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Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?