A community is in shock this morning after a local jet ski owner rocked the foundations of everything they thought they knew about jet ski owners.
At approximately, 9:30 this morning, a Ford Ranger arrived at a popular boat ramp with two jet skis in matching yew-green.
By all reports, a loud communal groan was heard before to their surprise, the Ranger politely joined the queue. A witness told The Times,
“Man wtf, this guy was calm. He was even smiling and politely waved. We were all thinking, OK when is this guy going to show his true colours?”
After about 10 minutes of waiting, a boatie make a dog’s breakfast of his launch and was holding everyone up. All eyes were on the Ranger driver as they saw his door swing open. Surely now was the time the mask slipped?
Well not according to a witness report. He told The Times,
“The first thing we noticed was that this bloke was over 6 foot. Why was he driving a Ranger? Must legitimately need it for work & play. Anyway, he very calmly walked over to the boat in strife and took control of the situation in a loving, caring way. I feel like I slipped into a alternate universe! No one was bitten!”
After launching his jet skis, the man of the hour was seen obeying the speed limits & keeping his distance from other vessels. Seemingly just enjoying the sunny day with his mate. Surely not?
Almost on queue, another temptation presented itself. A boat full of babes cruised past. Once again, everyone was expecting the worst from him. One on looker telling The Times,
“I would’ve put my house on this guy hooning around their boat and trying to spray them. He didn’t. In fact, one of them lost their hat in the wind and he retrieved it like a gentleman. Strange days indeed”
We spoke to the man who had done so much for jet ski – public relations. He told The Times,
“Yeah, I’m on a lot of MD bud, a lot”
Ah.