Kylie Minogue watched the unfortunate events outside the Bryan Adam’s concert unfold last night as a sewage blockage caused by a suspected “fatberg” forced RAC Arena to post pone the gig.
Not wanting the Wildcats to book the venue before them, Kylie instructed her team to book the fatberg immediately in case no one could get into RAC again.
A source close to Kylie told The Times,
“We’ve heard reports that people had a hard time getting into Drake and now the entire Bryan Adam’s concert was postponed so Kylie isn’t taking any chances. She says she can always rely on inconsiderate residents flushing unflushables and the fatberg is a dependable choice”
Fans of Kylie living in the CBD have begun flushing wet wipes & dumping cooking oil down the drain en masse to protect the integrity of the backup venue. One fan told The Times,
“We are taking no chances either. We must see our queen! I cooked up 10L of canola oil tonight just to dump down the drain. NOTICE ME KYLIE!”
Naturally, Wildcat fans are up in arms and asking why their beloved team didn’t get on the front foot and book the fatberg for their finals game first.
We can report that the powers to be thought the venue was unsuitable as while Wildcats fans are no strangers to some grease, the abundance of sanitary products on the fatberg might be foreign and confusing to them.
More to come.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?