There were joyful scenes at a Wembley property today as the family’s beloved mother finally returned home after a gruelling 2 months trapped in the Karrinyup underground carpark labyrinth.
Throughout her ordeal, Stacey lost her grasp on the notions of space & time and was reportedly pretty shocked to discover it was almost March. She told The Times,
“It all started around the 20th December. I remember descending into the bowels of hell and becoming disorientated. It took me a month to even find my car! That’s when a local shopping tribe who had made the maze their home took me in, fed me, cared for me”
The community of lost shoppers have long since abandoned hope and have accepted their fate in the dark corridors. However, Stace was motivated by her beautiful children and husband. She continued,
“I didn’t want to be like these people. I wanted to escape so I made my way on my own and through pure luck I located my car but my joy was short lived”
Stace took a moment to process her empire of joy crumbling into muddy shit as she realised she still needed to find an exit.
She knew she had to conserve fuel so she was forced to find the exit on foot. Using little piece of Xmas wrapping paper to mark her route so she could find her car.
While being unable to find the exit, she was able to locate the entry back into the shopping centre and that’s where she was able to charge her phone. Alas, she wasn’t able to make a call due to the reception!
So close, yet so far, she decided to abandon all hope of recovering her car and scrambled for freedom on foot. Arriving home with just a single Xmas gift in her hand.’
A JB HiFi gift voucher for her boy. It wasn’t much but she was home.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?