A local dad has “just the right medicine” for his neighbours whose weekend once again blew out into piggish proportions. With the sounds of loud DnB, burnouts, and miscellaneous yewing into the early morning.
To reciprocate the neighbourly love, Ted headed out to his yard at 6:55 and unleashed the song of his people. His blowfest was isolated to the boundary fence and he went through 3 batteries that he had strapped to his vest like G.I. Joe. He told The Times,
“Last weekend I went round the next day and asked if they could be mindful of noise past midnight. Man to man, they just called me a Karen and told me to piss off. That’s fine. I have other tools in my arsenal”
Ted’s wife said the revenge was served ice cold. Adding,
“Oh it was fkn annoying, don’t get me wrong but I was able to endure the hour of power knowing that those little bogans were going through the 9 levels of aural hell. One even opened up his window to tell Ted to shut up. That wasn’t going to happen”
Ted vows to only brandish his leaf blower when he’s justified to do so. Adding,
“I was young once, believe it or not, I don’t mind them blowing off some steam but there’s a line. If they keep crossing it they get Mr Blowy. I’ll blow the fkn shit out of them man. Maybe I’d tolerate the music if the wannabe DJ could actually mix”
We spoke to one of the neighbours who was driven out of his room and was forced to sleep in the bathtub to escape the fury of the leaf blower. He told The Times,
“Yeah could of got a bit out of hand last night ay. Still, using a leaf blower for an hour isn’t cool man. Not cool at all. We’ll see how he likes next weekend’s party”
Oh, you just made his day mate. You just made his day. You know he’s got a back up blower right? Dual wielding coming to a hangover near you.
Read more about the raw power of the leaf blower HERE.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?