When one thinks of Perth’s most frustrating pieces of arterial shit they tend to focus on the Freeway or perhaps Tonkin/Stirling.
No doubt these titans of fuckery have their place in hell but one should never forget the overflowing clogged toilet we call Loftus Street.
Finally, Loftus has been recognised for its unique ability to trick naive motorists into thinking the traffic-turd will keep moving down the pipe.
Spoiler alert: it rarely does and more than a couple of cars find themselves in the middle of very busy intersections copping the enraged honking of other motorists.
A spokesperson for Loftus St said it was “about time” the street was recognised on the big stage. Adding,
“I wouldn’t direct my worst enemy down Loftus Street. At all times of the day it’s a congested hellscape and sorely deserves this reward. I’ve been stuck in an intersection 3 times and caused 2 crashes when I panicked to try and change lanes to avoid being a nuisance”
We managed to track down a Leederville resident who proudly makes Loftus part of their daily commute. They told The Times,
“I remember the first time I got stuck in an intersection. It was the Graham Farmer intersection and it was the longest few minutes of my life. I cried the entire time and got a Dare Iced Coffee thrown at my windscreen. Good times, good times”
All motorists are strongly advised to never trust a move in traffic while on Loftus, especially in the area between Vincent and Hay St.
Well done Loftus, you earned that one.