A Fremantle resident has created quite the scene down in South Beach this morning after enjoying what many are referring to as a “miracle” – a clean flush in an unclogged South Beach toilet.
The man had just finished with the aftermath of his bonsoy latte when he tentatively pressed the flush button. To his surprise, it did just that. He told The Times,
“Wow, I will be telling the grandkids about this day. After seeing the bowl cleared I ran out and rejoiced to a crowd that had formed. I told them, she’s flushing baby!!!!”
What followed could only be described as a festival of modern acceptable waste management. With some hippies even starting a drum circle to give praise to the shit-Gods.
A witness at the scene had just finished cleansing the toilet block with sage and took some of the credit for the momentous occasion. They told The Times,
“Praise be to the shit-mother, we can’t remember the last time these toilets were capable of flushing. It’s a sign that South Beach is healing and has forgiven us for what we did to the dunnies over the Xmas period”
Naturally, a massive media pack formed to witness and report on the miracle given so many South Beach regulars were sceptical of the claim.
However, at 9:15 am, a plumber exited the toilet bloke to confirm the miracle. He told The Times,
“I’m as surprised as you but yep, he flushed that kombucha-surprise down on the first go. That’s the good news, the bad news is that this lentil-munching power-arse has just enjoyed the only flush you’ll be seeing today. They are clogged again people”
Yes, it seems the news of the successful public sanitation act caused somewhat of a “shitrush” and well, the status quo has been returned.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?