It’s been the better part of a decade since old Phil had to make the fortnightly pilgrimage to Subiaco to support the Eagles, but he still bears the scars.
Having spent most of his adult life in a suburb poorly serviced by TransPerth, he just accepted that driving in and wedging his car on some NIMBY’s verge was the only way.
We spoke to Phil who was staring into the distance with that familiar emotionless face he makes when reflecting on the bad old days. He told us,
“Just imagine you have your stupid kids whining, the wife calling you a loser for not having a system worked out and some NIMBY charging at you screaming that they’ll have your car impounded if you dare to drive up their street one more time”
Indeed, like many Westralians, Phil thought this was the only way to live. Accordingly, he doesn’t actually remember enjoying a single footy game. He continued,
“The entire time I was watching the Eagles I’d just be thinking about the traffic to get home. Those one-way streets were just filled with utter vehicular scum”
Now, Phil is learning to live again after embracing public transport to get to Perth Stadium. A process he describes as “better”.
That’s it Phil, don’t open up too much, keep it all down in that hurt locker.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?