While he considers himself the high watermark of culture one could argue that considering yourself an expert in ethnic cuisine after a few months is peak whiteness.
Nevertheless, Adam has been swooning up and down Albany Highway sipping on bubble tea and losing himself in deep bowls of aromatic delight.
Needless to say, the man has got tickets on himself and sadly this manifested in a poor decision by the big orse last night.
We spoke to Adam’s housemate who said he saw him come home with one of Korea’s most formidable exports. He told The Times,
“Ah, yeah, the 3X spicy. I told him that they were actually pretty hot but he dismissed my concerns and told me that he knows a thing or two about Asian cuisine. I told him that the toilet we share is right next to my room and I can’t handle another night of his noises”
Pfft, Adam thought as he prepared himself 2 packets of the devilish ramen noodles and did his best to cram them down his gullet before having to take a mercy break.
We spoke to Adam the next day who still walked with a slight limp. He told The Times,
“I must have a stomach bug because I can definitely handle that level of spice. I’m quite the foodie”
Alas, the sounds of the bumcano exploding deep into the night tell a different story. In fact, the spicy broth that he insisted on slurping down ran an absolute riot on his digestive system.
We asked his housemate how Adam’s dinner went. He told The Times to go and check the 2nd wheelie bin from the gate in the strata bin section.
Upon investigation, we found a pair of Alpha men’s briefs that smelled like a festival portaloo. We returned and asked him to elaborate,
“Yeah guess who used to own them. Also, would you like to know what happened to my tub of Chobani yoghurt? Well, you can probably still find a bit up his ‘ole. He said it was the only way to stop the pain”
Well, there you go. Adam didn’t have what it took. What a shock.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?