Perth man, Tim, who snorted his way through Latin America in 2018 always looks forward to the silly season because it gives him a chance to flex his worldly chops.
At approximately 8:30 this morning, Tim entered a cafe in search of a coffee. After the transaction went to plan a massive shiteating grin formed over his face and on departure he wished the barista a Feliz Navidad.
A witness in the cafe told The Times that everyone knew they were dealing with a true man of the world. A global citizen. Adding,
“Feliz Navidad means Merry Christmas apparently, I, nor anyone else in Perth knew that. This guy was really doing us a service this morning. Feels pretty great to be in the presence of a cultured man”
By 9:30 am, Tim had dropped another 4 Feliz Navidads and one Feliz Natal. Making sure that the recipient knew he also spent time in Brazil.
We spoke to Tim and asked him how he felt dropping Feliz Navidads, he told The Times,
“Ah, it’s just something you pick up when you spend time in Latin America, you know how you’re meant to refer to it right, you don’t say South America do you? Cringe”
Righto Tim. We can report that at the time of the interview the only additional Spanish phrases he knew was “dos cerveza por favor” and “un gramo de cocaina”.
Feliz Navidad, Tim.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?